“A few years ago, I dated this girl, who I was crazy about. I was only out to a few people, so in public we acted like best friends, and I was still able to have sleepovers with her.
We would watch a movie or something in my room, which would always lead to eventually making out. My favorite experience was one night while we were watching The Notebook. We were being cute and giggly, and she’d give me the sweetest kisses and cuddle me. Then we started making out (as usual) but this time, it felt very passionate and lovely. She started kissing my neck and playing with my boobs. She told me how beautiful I was, and whispered things she wanted to do to me. Butterflies were fluttering everywhere in my body. I was so turned on, I almost burst.
I took control and got on top of her, and our hips started grinding together. We were giggling and moaning as quietly as we could. Feeling her wet panties against me, biting her lip and watching her moan in response, and her grabbing my ass (my favorite); It was the hottest thing I’ve experienced. That night I came 8 times, a record that still stands for me. It was the first and only time I felt so connected with someone.
We sadly broke up after a series of events which made her realize she was in love with someone else and made me realize that maybe I wasn’t gay. Although I felt that I was no longer attracted to girls, the breakup was hard on me. We didn’t talk for almost 3 years. Within that time period, I dated a lot of guys, but occasionally I’d hook up with girls.
This year I had decided to go to the LGBTQ pride parade because my mom and I knew someone who was getting married there, and she texted me saying she saw me. I went to go talk to her and we hung out for a bit, and at one point, she grabbed my hand to drag me to a booth. As soon as she touched my hand, I felt the same butterflies I felt that night 4 years ago. I’m now a confused mess, and I can’t stop thinking about her.”
Moving from tumblr to greener pastures 