ACTUALLY sorry not to get #2personal but this is something i’ve been thinking about deeply over the past several months, so! a question i see a ton is, “how do i know if i’m a butch girl or a trans guy?” followed by a litany of reasons why either label could apply to the asker – and of course, you are the only person who can answer this question for yourself, and there is no right or wrong way to go about exploring your identity. but. if you are really torn, if both feel true for you, if you feel like you’re wandering around in a weird, illegible grey area: you can sit down and make that grey area your home. you are allowed to do that. you are not invalidating butch women or trans men as political classes by doing that. you are not necessarily on a quest to come down on one side or the other. non-binary identity is real. bigender identity is real. no matter how messy or inconvenient or illegible your gender identity may seem to outsiders, it is still real, and it is beautiful and it is yours and no one can take it away from you. there is a long and rich history of people who felt the same way you do, and you’re not alone.
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I remember seeing a post a while back talking about how speaker didn’t like being seen as a woman when around men or straight people in general, but wanted to be seen as a woman around other wlw, and that, as opposed to reflecting non binary identity, it had more to do with the fact that their womanhood was defined in relation to loving other women and had absolutely nothing to do with men at all, and that when men and straight people looked at her and saw her as a woman, they were imposing the wrong definition of womanhood on her, and it felt subtly like a misgendering. I don’t remember who wrote it, but I’ve been thinking about it a bit since then, and I kind of feel like that’s how I relate to butchness. It’s one of those signifiers of gender where, when I present butch, it’s to attempt to ensure that no one can separate my womanhood from my being a lesbian. It’s weaving those facets of identity tightly enough that they can’t be forcibly divorced from each other. I think that’s why it feels right to me.
also I have had straight female friends, totally divorced from any kind of queer culture at all, literally describe dysphoria to me without having the language or framework to name it. a straight friend and I once agreed in high school- when I wasn’t even calling myself a lesbian let alone understanding dysphoric feelings!- that our lives would be so much better and our happiness so much more achievable if we were just sexless, no breasts, no hips, no genitals. illegible and unknowable. it’s not that all of us are Non Women, it’s that womanhood is by its nature traumatic and alienating. why would your gender feel coherent with your body when your body is literally not yours, by definition
anyway now that we’re on the topic i just wanna say all my love goes to wlw who are terrified of having sex with girls bc they think their bodies are gross or not attractive enough and who always feel like they gotta compare to their partner aesthetically (esp us fatties)! you’re sexy and your girl will love every single inch of you!
that’s one of the things about defining “sexual attraction” as “looking at someone and thinking that you want to fuck them”
i think lesbians in particular often have a difficult time even recognizing that what they’re experiencing is attraction?
i rarely look at a woman and think to myself “dang i want to fuck her.” it’s always more just a strong feeling, like a sense of being really drawn to her or being interested by her or enjoying her a lot, that just feels different than finding someone intriguing or cool in a platonic way.
i’ve known i liked women since i was thirteen years old and i still have a hard time recognizing when i feel attracted to a woman! on more than one occasion i have misinterpreted those feelings as intense dislike or outright HATRED. sometimes i’ll walk by a woman and think to myself “i wonder why i found her so interesting to look at,” before remembering that i’m a big fucking lesbian
it’s just a very internal and subjective personal experience that won’t be the same for everyone and attempting to concretely define it or dissect it into discrete parts is always going to be a fool’s errand
The signs as weird fetishes
Aries:
Climacophilia – Arousal to falling down stairs
Taurus: Vorarephilia – Sexual arousal from the fantasy of eating or being eaten by someone or something else.
Gemini: Formicophilia – Aroused By Being Covered In Insects
Cancer:
Psellismophilia – Arousal to stuttering
Leo:
Actirasty – Arousal to the sun’s rays
Virgo: Hierophilia – Aroused by sacred/holy objects or people
Libra: Agalmatophilia – The love of mannequins And statues
Scorpio:
Stygiophilia – Arousal to the thought of hellfire and damnation
Sagittarius: Eproctophilia – Sexual arousal from farts
Capricorn:
Nasolingus – Arousal to sucking on a person’s nose
Aquarius: Salirophilia – Arousal through messing up someone’s appearance
Pisces: Ursusagalmatophilia – Aroused by teddy bears
I find it hella attractive when a girl has a smart mouth on her and can be a little bossy. Like yes, boss me straight into your bedroom.
telling teenagers that society hates them for not having sexual feelings for people they’re not close to is just… really not defensible, you’re doing these kids real emotional harm and it’s honestly chilling to watch
vaginal hygiene & health – an introductory crash course
pass this on to spread knowledge whether you have one or not, #save-a-coochie– the vagina is the tubular ‘internal’ sex organ that some people have.
– the ‘vulva’ is the set of external sex organs that people with vaginas have. it includes (but not only):
- pubic mound
- labia minora and majora (inner/outer ‘lips’)
- clitoris and clitoral hood
- vulval vestibule (found in between your labia minora)
- urethra (where you urinate from)
- vaginal opening
-vaginas naturally contain a balance of different bacterias. this bacteria protects the vagina from external bacteria and fungus, provides natural disinfectants and maintains a healthy vaginal pH of 3.5-4.5.
-vaginal pH varies from person to person, day to day, depending on your cycle, your diet and many other external factors,
–all vaginas have a scent. all of them. no two people smell exactly the same, and you shouldn’t expect your vagina (or anyone else’s) to smell fruity or floral.
– if your worried about your scent, you can place perfume or an essential oil to an area around your vulva but not on it. some places like between your thighs or on your lower stomach, for example,
-your body secretes natural fluids called discharge. discharge is how your vagina self cleanses. it is completely normal and vital to healthy vaginal function.
-discharge can vary in amount, color, texture and scent depending on your cycle. each person is different. if your discharge is unusual or abnormal to you and your unique body – visit a doctor if possible.
-abnormal discharge can be green, grey, very yellow, smelly, itchy, chunky, etc.
-abundant discharge can be annoying. you can remove excess discharge in your shower by inserting one clean finger into your vagina, moving it from one side to another and ‘scooping’ the discharge out. repeat as needed. this reduces the amount of discharge found on your panties and in turn, reduces vaginal scent.
– dead skin cells and oil can build up between your clitoris and your clitoral hood, so it’s important to lift your hood up and rinse thoroughly so it doesnt harden.
-washing your “external” vulvar areas such as your public mound and outer lips is okay, though some may find skin here more sensitive.
–don’t douche. you may think it helps but it only masks any problems while causing more. douching throws of your flora, alters your PH and forces bacteria into your cervix.
-water and a soft, clean wash cloth is all you need to clean your vulvar areas that contain a mucous membrane. you do not need to wash these areas. applying soaps or cleaners to these areas removes of natural necessary lubricants and bacteria. this may cause irritation, inflammation, major discomfort and dryness. some amount of moistness should always be present.
-a vast majority of vaginal washes, even those touted as hypoallergenic, still contain dyes and fragrances which are known irritants. read the label.
-while Summer’s eve is a lesser of evils with a PH of 3.0 – 3.5 (still not quite correct), it is still a cleanser. vaginal washes are used to cleanse “bad” bacteria from your vulva. they also wash away the “good” bacteria needed to maintain a healthy balance.
-castile soaps (like Dr. Bronner’s) has a pH of about 8.9. these are not suggested.
–never insert any cleansing agents into your vagina.
-the information above applies to any gels, deodorants, perfumed products and wipes, too. these can all disturb your natural balance.
-while they still pose a possible risk of irritation, unscented baby wipes are the lesser of evils regarding “freshening up”.
-pay attention to your irritants and triggers. different people, different reactions
-everyone has different stances and different methods that work for them. if you aren’t experiencing vaginal discomfort or odd changes, you don’t have to discontinue certain product use. i do, however, recommend a trial period of leaving these products alone due to their effects on your vagina.
-allow your vagina to breathe. keep too-tight clothing to a minimum. cotton panties are the best option next to not wearing any at all.
rotate the washcloth and towels you use to clean and dry your vagina.-urinating after masturbation or sex reduces the amount of bacteria in your urethra wiping ‘front to back’ keeps rectal bacterial away from your vagina.
-naturally, food alters your vagina. balancing your diet in general and including things like pineapples, strawberries, yogurt, soy (the list goes on!) can influence your pH.
-beverages like water, cranberry juice and pineapple juice are also proven to improve vaginal health, and may even improve taste.
-adding a probiotic supplement can increase the amount of “good” bacteria called lactobacillus-your vagina.
-the less ideal your vaginal balance/pH is, the more vulnerable you are to infections and STDs.
-when it comes to internet home remedies, your mileage my vary. try everything with caution and research thoroughly.
cheers! your vagina will thank you.
Please don’t be an immature 12 year old and be like “ew that’s about a vagina I’m not reblogging that that’s gross!”
It is literally a body part
It needs to be kept healthy
People with vaginas need to understand how to keep them healthy
Just reblogDO NOT PLACE ESSENTIAL OILS ANYWHERE ON YOUR BODY UNLESS DILUTED THEY CAN IRRITATE OR EVEN BURN YOUR SKIN
Both. Initially I like the battle play. I like switching back and forth between being in control and being submissive. It’s fun that way, that kind of role-playing, because you never know what to expect. It’s more exciting.
Gillian Anderson (‘What about bedroom tactics – do you like being bossed around or does the Scully in you take over?’) (via gilliankatic)
Moving from tumblr to greener pastures 