Tag: text

phamsa:

when hux said “careful, ren” to kylo in that voice™

i felt it i knew it deep in the very abyss of my charred and blackened SOUL that they were secretly banging. i had to literally grip my seat because i risked descending to Extra Hell which is different and more sinful than Everyday Regular Hell.

5 am hoe tips from urs truly

40ozshorty:

-shavin w neosporin leaves ur coochie 100% stubble free, and helps w stretch marks
-kat von d liquid lipstick is bj proof and matte
-double wear foundation from estee lauder is smear proof and doesnt rub off on sheets and clothes
-cranberries makes ur coochie taste sweeter than if u were to eat pineapple
-fantasia smoothing serum helps prevent ur hair from matting and tangling durin play time

rottenangel:

i want to make love to a girl on a bed filled with soft blankets and pillows, we take off each other’s cotton panties and sports bras, i want to kiss her softly and fall asleep smiling with her wrapped around me with the moon shining through the window 

jaclcfrost:

cockiness is so attractive to me in a way and it’s so irritating. like it’s annoying. and it annoys me. but the kind of expression and body language that comes with it. the self-satisfied attitude. the smug comments. the eye rolling. the smirking. “come and get me” hand gestures during a fight. eyebrow raising with an air of superiority. it’s just like. fuck you. i’m annoyed right now. i am so annoyed right now. but oh my fuck i am also so very, very attracted right now

ahzoka:

ok but i fucking love the lesbian meme that’s like “are you a *this* lesbian or a *that* lesbian” and this general trend amongst lesbians so much because lesbian used to honestly be such a hard word for me to use to refer to myself as, i spent a good few months knowing full well i was a lesbian before i actually started using the word and it was just such a hard word to claim with positivity for a long time and still can be around certain groups of people but like saying random shit like “i’m a coffee lesbian” cause i love coffee is so great ok like i’ll refer to myself as a lesbian when it’s totally random and unnecessary i don’t care i am a coffee lesbian 

me: gets sad bc im P sure all my friends hate me
me: wants to make a complainy post abt it on my main blog bc i trust my followers
me: can’t do that cause irl people follow me there too and i don’t want them to hate me more
me: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

writing smut like

kylux-trashpit:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

^

ichigokage:

roachpatrol:

rairii:

nuclearvampire:

You know something we don’t get taught often?  Why bodies with uteri often have a slight pouche. You wanna know why? Because the uterus leans against the outside wall of the abdominal cavity. The uterus is literally making that little pouche, the belly that we call fat all the fucking time, and that’s why it’s so fucking hard to get a absolutely flat belly! And thank fuck for having a female anatomy professor who is old enough and feminist enough to not give a damn and cheerfully tell us all the details that a male professor might have thought unimportant.  Cause fuck this society that ignores organs in order to fat-shame us.

I had no idea. Like, absolutely no idea.

i did not know this at all

So that’s what that bump is. 😮